The blog post I intended to share with you today can wait until tomorrow. I am going to share a story of epic failure, of a woman who had great aspirations, big plans, and eventually succumbed to pure and utter physical exhaustion.
I woke up at 6:59am this morning, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, ready to be a #1 Mom and to take on the world (or just my household, really, which feels like the world sometimes). You see, I fell asleep at about 9:03pm last night.....I didn't mean to, it happened by accident, and my friends, it was GLORIOUS!
My husband and I are on a weird schedule and I can see how it developed over the years. You see, once your child gets to be around 2 1/2, it is VERY difficult to have conversations, let alone finish sentences. They will "conveniently" keep interrupting you, they either need something, want you to play, to listen to them....they more or less want the attention that you are directing toward another adult focused solely on THEM. You work tirelessly for years to correct that behavior, "no interrupting, wait until Mommy is finished please!" They just keep doing it. At the dinner table, you no sooner finish reminding child #1 to wait his/her turn, when child #2 starts making loud pterodactyl-like noises, so once again it is virtually pointless to try to converse. We have tried everything, we just can't talk! My husband and I know that we cannot talk to each other until the children are in bed. Post-bedtime is really big for me, it's MY time, I do crazy things like watch a TV show that I want to watch, talk to my husband, wash the dinner dishes, finish up laundry, take a long shower, pretty awesome, huh?
Another issue that is contributing to late nights is the constant blood checks that I referred to in my last post here. My husband and I have been going to bed anywhere from 12:00am - 1:00am every night, partially to accommodate those blood checks. I also wake up 2-3 times after going to bed at 1:00am to check him. I am back up by 7:00am most mornings, and as you can probably guess, this schedule is taking its toll on me! I am never refreshed upon waking, I drink 2 cups of coffee per day and honestly, I am just dragging! I was so short-tempered, strict and hyper-critical with my son yesterday (he was just being a typical 4-year-old), and I knew all along that it was ME that was being unreasonable. By 9:00pm last night, my body and mind were so exhausted that when I went into my bedroom to grab my phone, I thought, "hmmmm, let me just lay my head on my pillow for 2 minutes." That was the last thing I remember. I woke up this morning and belly-laughed with my son, snuggled my daughter, and just feel so refreshed and energized!
I needed last night to happen as a reminder to take care of myself! I have been pushing myself for the past year, I make myself feel guilty for not doing the dishes, not checking Connor's blood enough, not finishing the laundry created that day, not spending more time with my husband......but you know what, I cannot give to everyone else unless I'm taking care of myself! This is my new motto. I am ready to be the MOM, WIFE, PANCREAS, MAID, COOK AND PLAYMATE today because I got enough rest, because I took care of myself. I had big plans last night to get things done, but I am so happy that they were neglected!
In an effort to keep my blog real and not sugar-coated, this is what I woke up to this morning, HAHAHAH, GOD.BLESS.AMERICA. (75% of these dishes are currently being washed in the dishwasher as I type.....the work will always be there, it can wait, hopefully I haven't invited every rodent in a 9 mile radius to my home by leaving them).
So, I am off to go on a walk with my daughter........to all of you Moms/Dads out there, workaholics, or for those of you just juggling a million things in life, don't neglect yourself, it's easy to do, be sure to make time just to SLEEP!
I LOVE this song by Allen Stone (I thought of it this morning upon waking):
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