Thursday, August 29, 2013

True Confessions from a Laundress

I am beginning to feel like Bill Murray in the movie Groundhog Day; same activities, same people, same time, E-V-E-R-Y S-I-N-G-L-E D-A-Y.  The activity that's heavily contributing to this time loop sensation is none other than: LAUNDRY.  I loathe doing laundry, I mean the process of sorting, washing, drying, folding and then hanging and putting away for 4 people is about as fun as running a marathon in my humble opinion.  I'd like to refer to myself as a laundress (I believe that the individual that coined that term combined Laundry & Goddess, yes, I'm a laundry goddess).  I do 3 loads of laundry/day, everyday, and if I choose to "skip" a day, no prob Bob, because I do 6 the next day.  Yep, there's no fighting it, me and the washer & dryer are besties!  Between bedding, towels, and like 4 wardrobe changes per day per child, I am spending an inordinate amount of time in the laundry "room", which is more like a laundry closet.  Unfortunately, 1 load per day is bedding.  I have tried to avoid doing this load of bedding like the plague, but I need to just accept that this is my new norm.  My sweet Connor, our type 1 diabetic, has been doing some bed wetting for the past 9 months, just a gestation period, and I don't think that this will change anytime soon.  According to his Endocrinologist, bed wetting at 4 years old is not unusual at all, but the amount of urine he produces will be significantly more than most kids thanks in part to his diabetes. 

When we moved to this house a couple months ago, the world of laundry as I had known it, changed.  Our rental property for the past 3 years boosted a laundry facility in the basement and it involved lugging laundry up multiple flights in order to get 'er done = a workout similar to Insanity! 

Sooooo one of the perks of moving to our new home is that the laundry room is on the floor with our bedrooms, this little fact caused me to bust a similar move:

It was going to be nothing but rainbows, puppy dog tails, ice cream and sunshine moving forward, I just knew it!  I imagined being totally caught up on laundry, maybe even days with no laundry, I would be like June Cleaver, I would be in laundry heaven, and my house would be perfection.  Can we say FANTAAAAASY!!!???  Connor had different plans for me which entailed him pissing on his sheets every night and then having his Mama wash bedding for the rest of her days. 

Sending this kid off to bed is like preparing for the trenches:
  • Nothing to drink after 7pm
  • Industrial strength overnight diaper
  • Multiple potty trips before bed
  • His blood sugar needs to be in the 100s or otherwise it's a piss-fest in there
  • At midnight during the blood check, change him into his 2nd industrial strength diaper (repeat a 3rd time if necessary)
  • His mattress is sealed by a water-proof protector
Uh and he still leaks, how the hell does he still leak, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I've seriously contemplated sending him off to bed in a similar fashion......

Bless his heart, he has no control over it and I just grin and bear it.  Loving Connor = being a full-time laundress.

I'll come clean, I restart the dryer, sometimes repeatedly to get the wrinkles out (sorry for the electricity bill, hubby :), love you!).  Sometimes I think I'll have time to fold, but alas, I was wrong.  Try again, and again.  Washing machine, yep, sometimes a girl has gotta re-wash a load or 2 (sorry again babe!).

So if anyone has any questions about my whereabouts or how I spend my days, or if I ever go "missing," you know exactly where to find me, in the laundry room!

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