Thursday, November 7, 2013

Breaking Point

I am 100% done, super-saturated done, at full-capacity done, filled to the brim, done!  I have been without a "good" night of sleep in many months, but for the past 2 weeks I am averaging 5 hours of VERY interrupted sleep.  I feel (and probably look like) a tired & cranky zombie wandering around.

Beyond Connor's diabetes, he has had "something" wrong with his foot for the past 13 weeks.  He began slightly limping 13 weeks ago, and that eventually turned into him full limping. We have taken him to a doctor's office about 8 times now (pediatrician, endocrinologist, and orthopedic surgeon).  He went for an x-ray that revealed soft tissue inflammation on the top of his foot.....the cause?  Your guess is as good as the doctor's.  Every morning we'd have to strap a giant boot to his foot that would take 3-4 minutes.  Bathing Connor was a problem because you'd have to carry all 42 pounds of him to his bedroom and strap on the boot.  The metal on the boot would bruise his interior ankle bone on his other came into contact with his sister repeatedly, bruising her. After wearing the boot for 5 weeks, the doctor said that it wasn't working and to just take it off.  Is it diabetes neuropathy, drop foot (neurological), growth plate break, we don't know, so we are looking at potentially months testing to figure it out....multiple blood tests, an MRI, and physical therapy.  Not looking forward to any of it!

On to Chelsea.......she began to cough here and there about 13 days ago.  It eventually turned into non-stop coughing for 6 days straight, and the next thing I knew she had a 105.3 fever, refused to eat or drink anything, and the worst cough you ever did hear.  We have been to her pediatrician twice, an x-ray/imaging office, and the ER.  As of today, her fever is down, but her coughing absolutely non-stop is literally breaking me down!  For 4 days now, I have been giving her albuterol treatments every 4 hours, Ibuprofen every 6 hours, alternating Tylenol every 4 hours, fluids every hour = I'm tired!!!!

In the interim, my house is sooo dirty!  I have spent days upon days holding Chelsea (because she only wanted to be held), so NOTHING has been done.  We have no money for a maid.......I have a diabetic celiac child and can't order take-out, so I'm forced to cook every dishes are piling up and so is laundry.  Guess what?  That's right.  Connor has wet the bed for the past 3 nights, so we have had to wash sheets for the past 3 days (my hubby took care of that because I literally couldn't get to it).

I would absolutely be lying if I were to say that this is not what it has been like most days.  Since Chels entered this world, she has been perpetually ill, 2 RSV infections (1 landed her in the hospital), Whopping Cough (4 months of very intense coughing), 4 UTIs (2 landed her with hospital stays), 6 ear infections, 2 bouts of Influenza B, and countless colds, viral infections (like this one, that has been unidentified). 

Beyond her sicknesses, I am counting carbs and giving Connor constant injections, I AM A FULL-TIME NURSE.  I don't have the world's healthiest kids, but I am very grateful to have them despite their ailments!  I typically get this 'woe is me' outlook after days and days of blood checking/wiping noses/administering nebulizer treatments, but I try to remind myself that at least their sicknesses are curable and/or manageable, some parents aren't so lucky!

I'm writing this in the blog so that I can remember in 20 years how hard my life was at times (and my amazing husband's for that matter)!  It has been years of this, not to mention my own physical ailments.....I'm hoping that the next couple of years only get easier!  It has to, right?

Say a prayer for me!

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